What Jesus Said About Divorce

Mark 10: 1-12 Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them.

² Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” ³“What did Moses command you?” he replied. ⁴ They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”

⁵ “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. ⁶ “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’  ⁷ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,  ⁸ and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. ⁹ Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

¹⁰ When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. ¹¹ He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. ¹² And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”

Jesus has gone from Galilee to Judea and some Pharisees test Him with a question about divorce. Jesus quotes Genesis 1:27 and Genesis 2:24 in His answer:

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

And That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

God hates divorce. Malachi 2:16 is a well known verse showing this. “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.

One of the reasons He hates it is because it always brings suffering and misery.

Jesus teaches here that marriage is God’s design and God’s institution. God created married couples to stay together. Man created divorce. But that doesn’t mean divorce is any worse then any other sin. There are three examples in scripture where God actually ordained divorce.

Ezra 10: 3, 11 and 44 Now honor the Lord, the God of your ancestors, and do his will. Separate yourselves from the peoples around you and from your foreign wives. And All these had married foreign women, and some of them had children by these wives.

Where His people had married foreigners, which they weren’t supposed to do because it would dilute their faith. They might easily begin to worship their spouse’s gods; follow their ways.

Jeremiah 3:8 I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries. Yet I saw that her unfaithful sister Judah had no fear; she also went out and committed adultery.

God actually divorced Israel because she was cheating on Him!

Matthew 1:18-19 ¹⁸ Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found with child of the Holy Spirit.

¹⁹ And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily.

Joseph planned to divorce Mary because it looked like she had committed adultery – but the Bible still calls him a righteous man.

God allows divorce under two circumstances.

1.      Adultery. Mark 5:32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

2.      Abandonment. 1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

God’s not saying we should divorce under those circumstances. Just that we can.

But as Christians we are to try – hard! – to make it work and here are some suggestions to do that:

1.      Fight the desire to divorce.

2.      Love your enemies – even if it’s your spouse!

3.      Forgive 70x7 times

4.      Read James 1:2-5. It’s about persevering in trials.

5.      Go to a Biblical counselor for help.

God Gives Us Guidance for a Good Marriage

I love that Valentine’s Day this year fell on a Sunday. And that the Pastor’s sermon was on marriage. He used Ephesians for his scripture.

Ephesians 5:22 – 33 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

The pastor said that marriage is God’s word picture of the Gospel. Our relationship with our spouse should tell the truth about God and promote the Gospel. The Gospel is an expression of who God is: that out of love He gave us a gift to save us when we couldn’t save ourselves. We needed God to act – and He did!

This love is not like the world’s definition of love. Christ’s example to us in marriage is sacrificial love. Our love for our spouse should cost us something. Jesus laid down His life for us. (John 3:16) What do we need to give up for our spouse? Our time, recreation, attitude…?

Husbands are to nourish and cherish their wives. They should take the time to really understand their wives. What’s important to them. Try to figure out how they can help their wife to live out their Christian walk: create an environment for them that makes it easy for them to be a Christian.

Wives are to look up to and respect their husbands. The pastor said this is really more in the eye of the beholder than the person we are looking at. We don’t do this because they deserve it as much as because Christ told us to. We are called to be like Christ. We offer grace just like He did. We respect our husbands by submitting to them, admiring them, no nagging and honoring them publically.

Husbands and wives become one flesh, united in goals, united in God, working toward the same purpose as a couple. The marriage and family is at least one arena (and for many, the main arena) where they can reflect God best: showing His sacrificial love, His grace and forgiveness. It also means that the family can be a safe place for people to speak freely about God and worship Him. A place where they can be what they are designed to be: gracious, compassionate, kind, patient, forgiving and bound together in perfect harmony.

God's Views on Marriage and Divorce

Today’s world is really mixed up about marriage, isn’t it? Millions of people are living together out of wedlock: either because they view marriage as “just a piece of paper” or they want to “try it out and see if they like it.”

While at the same time the gay population is fighting for the right to be married!

Both of these views reject Christian morals and God’s plan.

When God created Adam He knew Adam needed a companion. Someone to help him and share his life. Eve was God’s gift to Adam. God performed the first marriage ceremony when He brought Eve to Adam. The Bible says in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife and they become one flesh.”

A beautiful thought about this is when you find the right person for you the longing you feel has to do with the fact that the woman was formed from man’s rib. They were in fact at one time “one flesh”.

Many people today don’t seem to feel like there is a special person for them. If they do get married they go into it with the attitude that, “If it doesn’t work out this time, I can always try again.”

Divorce is mentioned in several places in the Bible. While Moses’ law allows for divorce in Deuteronomy 24:1 Jesus says in Matthew 5:32 that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unfaithfulness, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

When marriage is treated lightly, divorce comes easily. But, Mark 10:9 says, “What therefore, God has joined together let not man put asunder.” Here may lay the problem. A lot of people who are married never asked God whom they should marry! God had never really joined them at all. Most people who get married do so because they fall in love, but look at what God says in Malachi 2:14, “The Lord was witness to the covenant between you and the wife of your youth” and “she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”

He doesn’t call the spouse a lover. He calls the spouse a companion. Not that there is anything wrong with love, but sometimes love is just based on chemistry or attraction. Two things that come and go. We fall in and out of love.

Remember God created Eve as a companion. In life you will experience the “worse, the poverty, and the sickness” part of the wedding vows, and you will want a friend to go through those experiences with you. We also see from this verse that marriage is a covenant. It is not “just a piece of paper”. It’s between a man, a woman, and God. It is holy.

The reason God hates divorce is because He loves marriage so much. It is His perfect plan for a man and a woman to live in companionship under His covenant for all their lives.

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